There are some things our President simply must do correctly when taking a trip overseas. It’s crucial for foreign relations. Once the plane has landed and the President descends the steps of Air Force to come face to face with another leader, there is only one option – the POTUS must immediately assert strength and gain respect…but how?
Turn around and let one rip. As soon as the President makes clear that he’ll fart on whoever he pleases, we (America) get the upper hand in any negotiating situation. We want trade restrictions for countries that don’t follow our rules – We get it. We want to set goals for lowering pollution rates by 2050 – We get it. And all from one Presidential fart.
Past Presidents have all followed the time honored tradition of correctly greeting foreign leaders. Don’t believe the pictures the “left wing liberal press” circulated of George W. Bush holding hands and exchanging cheek kisses with a Saudi Crown Prince because it was a sign of friendship in Middle Eastern culture. Hell no, President Bush smacked the Prince’s hand away, thus gaining immediate respect from him and the world.
Bill Clinton went for the ultimate gesture. When meeting Japan’s Emperor he began slightly bowing to him, but then stopped 30% percent in – what a fake out! Japan got the message. And we got…more sushi bars conveniently located in our local downtown shopping malls.
Now, President Obama is only in his first year, so it’s understandable that he bungled up his greeting when he actually fully bowed to Emperor Akihito. Oh, the young are so naive. Even though Obama dropped the ball on this one, I’m confident he’ll get it right next time. He’s a man who knows his history and I’m sure he’ll learn from the great failure that was Nixon’s trip to China.
All was going well and the country was captivated as they watched history being made. After all, no American President has ever visited China before. And then, the moment of truth as President Nixon met with Chairman Mao, communist leader. The world held its breath, waiting for Nixon to sock it to him with a Presidential fart, loud burp or a vomit/diarrhea combo. But the world never got to see that happen, for Nixon merely shook hands and then bowed to Mao. And the successful trip was no more. It went down in history as decidedly unproductive and absolutely did not help normalize relations with China for the next 30 years.
So, get back in the game Obama. You gotta fly around in Air Force One, land unannounced and unexpected in as many countries as you can, grabbing your respect one fart or projectile vomit at a time.
